Sunday, May 28, 2006
A Million Little Pieces reviewed by an Alcoholic - Truth or Lies?
I finished reading the aforementioned book by James Frey. I found some of the descriptions of the disease of addiction, withdrawal and recovery to be true. User dreams where the recovering addict vividly imagines “using” his/ her drug of choice are a reality. I had them for years. I would imagine being on the verge of taking a drink and awake in a cold sweat. Later, I progressed to the point of imaging taking that drink and losing my sobriety though I haven't had a drink for 26 years, 3 months and 28 days. Frey talked about blackouts where he would have no memory of activities taking place while drinking. These are very real and scary when you wonder what you may have done the night before. These were an all too familiar experience during my drinking years. Frey talks of the physical reactions the body goes through when deprived of alcohol and some of the damage resulting from abuse of drugs and alcohol. These are all realities.
He also mentions that he wanted to write a realistic book about addiction, not a romanticized version like he has seen in the popular press and glamorized by rock stars and Hollywood. This statement seems to be contradicted by many things James Frey goes on to say in A Million Little Pieces. He seems to have embellished some of his escapades prior to his entrance into the Hazelden treatment center. Smoking Gun.com could find no evidence of his version of his arrests as well as his supposed involvement in a train wreck that killed a friend of his. His statement of oral surgery without any pain medication seems incredulous as well as the cast of characters he meets in treatment including an underworld gangster, a federal judge and a washed up boxer. Such exaggerations seem to be an attempt to portray himself as the baddest of the bad, kind of a negative glamorization of the addict's life. I'm badder than you, so I must be a bigger addict, alcoholic, criminal, etc. This seems to be a form of the very glamorization of addiction that he speaks against. In my estimation, he appears to be a college kid from a farely well off family who had gotten too deep into his addiction and sought treatment. Not too bad an actor, but somebody not that different from you or I.
His other strong statement is his opposition to the 12 step method of recovery, but yet we find him completing many of the steps though he doesn't portray them as such. He acknowledges his addiction, step one. He doesn't acknowledge a traditional higher power, yet derives a certain strength from teachings of Tao, certainly a form of spirituality outside oneself and then turns control of his life to those teachings, step 3. He completes a confession and shares it with a priest, steps 4 and 5. He admits his past mistakes and seeks forgiveness from his parents, steps 8 and 9. He accepts responsibility for his actions, continues to read the Tao and leaves the facility to find his friend Lilly and bring her back to treatment, portions of steps 11 and 12. He is released and lives his life one day at a time. I would say he is pretty committed to the 12 steps even though he works very hard at professing not to believe in them. I didn't think much of the steps and slogans when I was first introduced to AA. I have grown to the point where they provide me direction on a day to day basis.
My take on A Million Little Pieces. Frey is still stuck on an ego trip of having to be the baddest of all and still surviving without giving credit to a source outside of self. This very refusal to humble oneself is a sure step towards a slip down the line. The old saying of Pride goeth before the Fall has a great deal of meaning. Addiction and alcoholism are nothing to be glorified. They cause pain to all around including the addict. Recovery is a long and hard road. A journey we must walk all our lives.
I finished reading the aforementioned book by James Frey. I found some of the descriptions of the disease of addiction, withdrawal and recovery to be true. User dreams where the recovering addict vividly imagines “using” his/ her drug of choice are a reality. I had them for years. I would imagine being on the verge of taking a drink and awake in a cold sweat. Later, I progressed to the point of imaging taking that drink and losing my sobriety though I haven't had a drink for 26 years, 3 months and 28 days. Frey talked about blackouts where he would have no memory of activities taking place while drinking. These are very real and scary when you wonder what you may have done the night before. These were an all too familiar experience during my drinking years. Frey talks of the physical reactions the body goes through when deprived of alcohol and some of the damage resulting from abuse of drugs and alcohol. These are all realities.
He also mentions that he wanted to write a realistic book about addiction, not a romanticized version like he has seen in the popular press and glamorized by rock stars and Hollywood. This statement seems to be contradicted by many things James Frey goes on to say in A Million Little Pieces. He seems to have embellished some of his escapades prior to his entrance into the Hazelden treatment center. Smoking Gun.com could find no evidence of his version of his arrests as well as his supposed involvement in a train wreck that killed a friend of his. His statement of oral surgery without any pain medication seems incredulous as well as the cast of characters he meets in treatment including an underworld gangster, a federal judge and a washed up boxer. Such exaggerations seem to be an attempt to portray himself as the baddest of the bad, kind of a negative glamorization of the addict's life. I'm badder than you, so I must be a bigger addict, alcoholic, criminal, etc. This seems to be a form of the very glamorization of addiction that he speaks against. In my estimation, he appears to be a college kid from a farely well off family who had gotten too deep into his addiction and sought treatment. Not too bad an actor, but somebody not that different from you or I.
His other strong statement is his opposition to the 12 step method of recovery, but yet we find him completing many of the steps though he doesn't portray them as such. He acknowledges his addiction, step one. He doesn't acknowledge a traditional higher power, yet derives a certain strength from teachings of Tao, certainly a form of spirituality outside oneself and then turns control of his life to those teachings, step 3. He completes a confession and shares it with a priest, steps 4 and 5. He admits his past mistakes and seeks forgiveness from his parents, steps 8 and 9. He accepts responsibility for his actions, continues to read the Tao and leaves the facility to find his friend Lilly and bring her back to treatment, portions of steps 11 and 12. He is released and lives his life one day at a time. I would say he is pretty committed to the 12 steps even though he works very hard at professing not to believe in them. I didn't think much of the steps and slogans when I was first introduced to AA. I have grown to the point where they provide me direction on a day to day basis.
My take on A Million Little Pieces. Frey is still stuck on an ego trip of having to be the baddest of all and still surviving without giving credit to a source outside of self. This very refusal to humble oneself is a sure step towards a slip down the line. The old saying of Pride goeth before the Fall has a great deal of meaning. Addiction and alcoholism are nothing to be glorified. They cause pain to all around including the addict. Recovery is a long and hard road. A journey we must walk all our lives.
